Anxiety - A musing by an individual
  07 Jun, 2023    

It is the 26th of January and I have to be on the stage in 5 minutes.``Is this real? If it is, I don’t want to live it.” I feel like I am stuck in a maze with no exit. I see everyone getting themselves ready and I am stuck in the place I stood for the past 5 minutes. The beads of sweat rolled down my neck.” I’m overthinking. I am going to be fine” but my body did not seem to care and proceeded to make me sweat and lose my mind. I am restless. I can’t concentrate on any one of the hundred thoughts running through my mind.``Run! Just leave. Say that you don’t feel good '' one of my thoughts said. “You can do this. You have been practicing so many days for this. You are going to be fine.” another thought told me.  Suddenly I feel a headache shooting up my temple. “Of course! A headache should fix everything right now.” my inner voice spoke. Then out of the corner of my eye, I see the Headmistress going on the stage and my hands just shaking uncontrollably. As if my situation couldn’t get any better, she told the audience the one thing I currently hated. The performance was about to begin. I have to go on the stage and speak in front of hundreds of people. A pit in my stomach dropped. A wave of fear and nervousness washed over me. My body picked up my flashcards and climbed the stairs with severe unease. I didn’t think my ribcage could withstand any longer with the speed of my heart rate. My neck itched with the cold sweat that broke out a few minutes ago.” I’m going to faint. I am definitely going to faint!” but I didn't even though my breathing rate told me otherwise. I walked onto the stage and something snapped in my head.

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