Is the Societal Clock predicting your every move?

Societal pressures dictate specific timelines for achieving milestones like graduating college, getting married, having children, and buying a house. However, these deadlines are often arbitrary and can change with advancements in technology, the economy, and societal norms. It is important to understand where these expectations come from and create personal milestones that are meaningful rather than clinging to outdated societal norms.

What is the societal clock and how does it impact our lives?

The social clock is a cultural timeline that dictates important milestones in a person's life. These milestones, such as getting a job, getting married, or having children, create societal pressures for individuals to achieve them. Failure to meet these expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The social clock influences people's decisions by pushing them to conform to the cultural expectations and timelines of their society, both consciously and unconsciously. The social clock dictates certain expectations for individuals to achieve certain milestones at specific ages. For example, students may feel pressured to graduate by a certain age, and if they do not meet this expectation, they may feel isolated from their peers who have already graduated. This unspoken societal pressure can have a significant impact on individuals.

Humans are born ready to learn and pick up societal norms and expectations from their surroundings. These norms are shaped by a combination of social, economic, and technological factors, with parents and families playing a significant role in shaping expectations around marriage and family planning. Ultimately, these norms are not dictated by any one individual, but rather by the collective decisions and interactions of millions of people. According to a study, these delays in reaching traditional milestones can be attributed to a variety of factors beyond just parental influence. Millennials have grown up in a vastly different world than their parents, which has shaped their approach to achieving these milestones. One major factor is the higher level of education among millennials, with nearly 40% in the US holding a bachelor's degree compared to only a quarter of 'baby boomers'. This extended period of education delays entry into the workforce and subsequently delays the start of savings for a home. Millennials in the US and the UK are reaching significant life milestones later than their parents, with marriage occurring on average seven years later and some not marrying at all.

The age at which women have their first child has also increased over the past four decades, with many waiting until they are 29 or older. Additionally, millennials are experiencing a lower rate of homeownership compared to previous generations. The importance placed on education and training has also led to an increase in student debt among millennials, making it difficult for them to afford homes amidst rising costs. These financial constraints, combined with changing societal norms and values, contribute to the trend of millennials reaching milestones such as marriage, parenthood, and homeownership later in life.

Expectations for women to get married and have children have remained the same, but gender norms have shifted, allowing more women to pursue education and careers. More women are attending university than men and delaying having children until later in life. Advances in science and technology, such as birth control, have given women more control over their reproductive choices. Despite these changes, social expectations still lag behind economic and educational realities, leading to potential challenges in meeting milestones.

The tyranny of the 'Should'

This phrase refers to the pressure and expectations that people feel to meet certain standards or behave in a certain way. Younger generations are feeling stressed as they try to meet the outdated expectations set by their parents and grandparents. Despite the decreasing likelihood of achieving traditional milestones like marriage, children, and homeownership before age 30, many still feel pressure to do so. This discrepancy between expectations and reality is taking a toll on mental health, leading to negative outcomes such as drug overdoses and suicides. Occupational psychologist Charlotte Housden, who practices in Kent, UK, refers to this social pressure as the “tyranny of the should”. She advises those who are anxious about falling behind, telling them that they are not alone in their feelings. Many people suffer from the false belief that they don't live up to society's expectations. According to her, people frequently make generalized, globalized claims like "everyone is getting married" or "everyone is richer than me." However, that is untrue. It's a mistake in thinking, she claims.

The Right Way Forward

According to a US Census survey, most Americans view completing school and finding employment as more crucial aspects of adulthood than getting married or having children. There is less stigma associated with living with parents after college, and the focus is now on education and financial stability. These expectations are constantly evolving, despite appearing to be set in stone. Globalization is causing shifts in the social clock as people from different cultures come together. The fast pace of life in a globalized world is leading to changes in traditional timelines for milestones like marriage. Career pressures are also impacting the effectiveness of the social clock, and some cultures are becoming more accepting of individuals who do not adhere to traditional timelines. So remember to take your time and live life on your own timing, and focus on enjoying the journey.